Life is like Kayaking

One of the many characteristics of the Israeli culture that I have really enjoyed is the interest people share in conversation. Everyone talks openly about their life and their political opinions. They are not afraid to ask you a blunt questions like, "so how's your sex life" or "do you agree with what O'bama has done thus far?" And people are not shy or hesitant to respond. They are not worried about how someone might react or if they will disagree with them. They do not take your opinion personally and they do not hold it against you and make an assumption about the person you might be. You say what you have to say, and you move on.

Throughout the conversation you can feel that the people around you are very interested and pay close attention to what you have to say. They do this because they want to through your opinion right back in your face if they have to, but there's no hard feelings. Your opinion is important and a great opportunity for them to argue with you. In the end, the conversations are often ended with, can I buy you a coffee, not screw you.   

Conversation around the dinner table is often very politically or personally driven. Opinions about O'bama's interest are very popular, the Israeli/Palestinian conflict is very common, and questions about the person you are and what interest's you have is very important. Dinner takes a while. It's not, sit down, order, swallow your food whole, pay, and move because there's a party of 5 waiting with a screaming baby and a hungry mother. You take your time. You engage in deep conversations and when your ready to leave, you ask for the check which will take long enough to that you can have a cup of coffee and dessert in the mean time. But just because you paid doesn't mean you have to leave. Why don't you let the food settle for a while, if people are waiting, oh well.

Sorry I've taken a while to share the new metaphor I learned about life, but I wanted you to have an understanding about the culture here and why someone would share what may seem like a silly metaphor, but I thought it was dead on, especially concerning the topic of our conversation at the time.

Daniel and I went to dinner last night at the only mexican restaurant in Tel Aviv (btw, my trip is officially complete, I ate mexican food in Tel Aviv). We sat at the bar eating diner for probably 2 hours +. We talked a lot about how people make their decisions in life. Some people know exactly what they want while others take some time to figure it out. The common point that we kept coming back to was how difficult it can be for some people to make a decision, and I am definitely one of those people. Taking the plunge, jumping into the deep end can make people like me very anxious. Finally deciding to book my trip to Israel was probably one of the biggest decision's I have made thus far in my life. Quitting a decent paying full time job, leaving behind a new baby niece that is going to grow so much while I'm gone, leaving behind a family that is finally starting to relocate within close proximity to visit, leaving behind a girlfriend of almost 6 years, and of course my only child-like figure, my 2 year old bulldog. Not knowing what Israel would have to offer and not knowing what the hell I am going to do when I decide it's time to come home. But it's these kinds of decision that will help me.

I've been stuck in a post college slump that I think many young adults suffer from for a couple of years. You've just left the ultimate hang-out party atmosphere, your bills have been paid for the last 22 years, your schedule included maybe 20-30 hours of commitment during the week, and you think your going to change the world now. Oh, sorry, I meant you've just graduate from college, now what the heck are you going to do, oh and by the way, no one is hiring right now. You're trapped, freaking out about who you are, what you are going to do for a career, how are you going to afford life, where are you going to live, how do you make new friends, who are you going to marry, when do you get married, how do you get married, etc. Meanwhile your friends friend is already the C.E.O. of the next upcoming Fortune 500 and they were at more parties then you were in college. So now you're stuck. What to do....how do I handle all these thoughts?

Finally, life is like kayaking. Daniel shared this metaphor with me last night and I thought it was brilliant. 

When it comes down to it, there are two ways to paddle a river, and in no ranking order here they are:

One way is to paddle hard. Quick paddle left, left, left.....no, no, more right, right, right...watch out for the rocks (boom), bounce back into the rapid, paddle, paddle, paddle. Working every muscle of your brain and body. Frantic about the next rapid around the bend. Already strategically planning how you are going to attack the waves so you don't crash into the next rocks or flip your kayak. This plan has to work in order to arrive at my final destination and if I do crash you may be left very disappointed.

Second, hop in the kayak, loosen the straps on your back support so you can lean back, place your paddle along side of you, rip open a bag of chips, and snap some pictures along the way with the waterproof disposable camera you picked up on your way down to the water. Floating down river you see all the detail along the way. You have a conversation with your kayaking partner about the trees around you, did you see that bird, there's a dear, you wave at people you pass along the shore long, you can even pull over and talk to them if you'd like. There is a small rapid approaching so you prepare yourself. Sit up, grab your paddle, close up the bag of chips so they don't get wet, find the best way through, work hard to get through the rapid, and then ride it out. Meanwhile the first paddlers are now stuck behind a rock and paddling their ass off because they freaking out, which in turn may be causing more problems then solving the one they are in.

At the end of they day, both groups of kayakers all paddle into camp at the same time. Helping each other carry all the kayaks up the beach.

The relationship kayaking has in real life:

There are people, the first group of kayakers, that frantically search for what's next. They are paddling through their job because the harder they work/paddle, it obviously has a pay off right? They take a few bumps along the way, and may be disappointed because you can see the damage they created. In the beginning they made the decision they were going to focus on paddling and working as hard as they could to arrive at their final destination with Newton's third law in that back of the minds: for every action there is an equal or opposite reaction.

Then there are people, the second group of kayakers, who take a step back and enjoy the bumps along the way. When faced with adversity or new beginnings, the rapids, they figure out the best way through. They paddle/work when needed to accomplish the best outcome possible, and then adjust their responsibilities in order to keep the road ahead smooth. They realize that the journey ahead will bring new jobs/rapids, new people, new environments, and new beginnings. They will be prepared to adjust accordingly and conquering each rapid/experience along the way will prepare them for the next.

Again, at the end of the day, we all end up in the same place. No one has it better then the other. However, emotionally and spiritually, the second group of kayakers will have had a more enjoyable experience along the way. Like they say, take a minute to stop and smell the roses. 

I am not trying to preach the wrong or right way to live your life or control how you paddle the river. I just wanted to share this conversation because I thought it was very interesting. I have never heard someone explain life in this way and I thought it was great. 

I guess I would say I'd probably be in the second group of kayakers and my decision to take this trip to israel is to meet a group of people I saw along the shoreline while I was paddling. They looked very interesting and I knew if I took the time to stop and meet them I would learn something new, not only about them, but about myself. I would make a new friend, enjoy my time with them, and then move on when we were done. Eventually ending up at the bottom of the river along with the responsibilities and loved ones at home who made the decision to keep paddling on.

All in all, I would recommend to anyone who can afford the time or money to take the plunge. Do something completely different for a change. You don't have to leave your job, family, dog, or significant other and travel thousands of miles either. Try something new at home. Join a sports league you've never played, join an organization you have no idea what they do, eat lunch with a new group of coworkers, I don't know, something that's different for you. You may love it or you may hate it, but most importantly you will have tried it and will have recognized something new about the person you are. You will strengthen your sole and generate fascinating new experiences to share with friends and family. It's just an idea to think about. If you have already figured out everything you want and need in life then I admire what you have. 

Another great point that was raised, and I'll try to keep this short. If you are jobless or don't have anything to do, the harsh reality is that you often run the risk of giving off a vibe to others that you don't have much to offer them. I understand the economy is not the best right now, but that means you need to bust your ass that much more. And for those of you trying to help those who are jobless or not doing anything. The second harsh reality, they often are not the best people to rely on. People who don't have anything to do, often don't get anything done because they don't have a reason to do it quickly. They don't have a reason to hurry up and finish what you have asked them to start. On the other hand, someone who is busy working, give them the responsibility, they have a schedule that keeps them working so they will want to add it to their To Do list.

That's kind of a random point, but I liked it.

I'm sure my stories seem random, and maybe you don't agree with them, but I've learned that expressing myself feels the best. I started this blog to share my experience with you and my experiences are not just the sites I see. The most important experiences are the ones I learn something from while I'm doing it. I understand it works for me and it may not work for other people, but it doesn't hurt anyone for me to share it, and who knows, maybe it will ignite a positive spark in someone I know and I knowing that at least one person is inspired, that's all that matters to me.

I've posted a few pictures of the beach just for fun. Enjoy!